I've always wanted to be a member of a climbing party. You know, a group of folks who climb up some big ol hill where it's real cold and windy, but still extremely hot because you're so close to the motherfuton sun and you eat dehydrated food and are always nauseous because of altitude sickness and you're always like rubbing your feet and they're kinda smelly, oh and then when you get to the top you hug these strangers because you've accomplished a lifelong dream of reaching the summit of said hill. I just think the camaraderie would be pretty sweet.

It would also be pretty awesome when you were just about to reach the summit, when all of the sudden, your new comrade has fallen (and seemingly can't get up) but everyone just decides to leave him there to die. Screw camaraderie now, last one to the top has to smell my socks.

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I think an under-used phrase is, "I hate your guts". That phrase used to be the rage in 4th and 5th grade. I can't remember a day going by without using it on my sister. These days, I guess the whole "negative connotation" part of it brings people down and has likely contributed to it's limited usage.

Silly people.

When I tell you that I hate your guts, it means just that. I hate your guts, but everything else about you that is not your guts, is totally bitchin.

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In order to be a winner, you have to think like a winner. I can think of no better place to start than by legally changing your name to Winner. This projects to others that you are in fact, a winner. I began this process myself, changing my name to Winner, Winner Peterson.

At the Official Name Changing Application Office, ONCAO, I filled out my application and turned it in to the lovely ONCAO receptionist. She reviewed it for completion, reading aloud as she went along. Age, 31. Residence, California. New name, Weiner Peterson.

Ouch.

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This particular event detailed below boiled my blood for a good two years. I knew it was a conspiracy; so it comes to light.

"In one of several allegations of corrupt refereeing, Donaghy said he learned in May 2002 that two referees known as "company men" were working a best-of-seven series in which "Team 5" was leading 3-2. In the sixth game, he alleged they purposely ignored fouls made by opponent "Team 6" and made phantom calls putting its players at the free-throw line.
"Team 6" won the game and came back to win the series, the letter said. "

Team 5 = Sacramento Kings
Team 6 = Los Angeles Lakers

May 2002, Game 6 NBA Western Conference Finals

Conspiracy.

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